The theory by Weber called “The foundations of Social Theory” he explains how Power is a social relationship in which “a social relationship of imposing ones will (pg38).”Then leads into “domination” in which is the process when someone obeys the one in “power”. And lastly the domination then leads to forcing or trying to make someone obey them once the person does no longer want to. Weber theory of Power definitely relates to people who have been an abusive relationship. Weber whole concept made me think of my co-worker who was in a physically and mentally in an abusive relationship. I decided to interview my co-worker whose name is Daisy. I asked about her relationship for insistence about who had the power, if there was obedience and if there was force in this relationship. Weber social theory about power can even relate to one’s personal relationship with husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend.
I asked Daisy in your relationship who’s the one who held the power? She responded with “he did”. She told me when she first started dating him she was only 13 years old and he was 17 years old. There was an age gap between them. She said “At first I thought him telling me to stop wearing a certain type of clothing was because he didn’t want others (guys) to check me out.” “I didn’t think much of it because I thought that’s what a boyfriend did and said.” Plus he would tell her that he loved her. Also she considered that he was older and wiser not to question his actions. He would tell her it was for her own good and to trust him. Her boyfriend knew he could use his powers for her to obey his rules.
Daisy social life demolished once he didn’t allow her to talk or hang out with friends. At first, he would just yell at her and tell her that she was wrong if she even received a call from a friend. Still Daisy stated she didn’t question his actions. When Daisy agreed to his terms to not having a social life this is when she believed his actions were legit. He always made sure to blame her for why he was mad and screaming at her. He manipulated her to believe she deserved it. A year after dating Daisy became pregnant. She moved in with her boyfriend. While pregnant she was physically and mentally abused by her boyfriend. Sometimes it was because she was on the phone or just because someone looked at her. She stated “I obeyed him once he became physical.” “I would walk with my head down so I would not look at any other man but him.” Daisy started obeying all of her boyfriend’s demands without thinking twice of his rules. Yet, her obeying his rules and automatically responding to his demands showed me exactly who was in demand. Her boyfriend dominated their relationship.
There was an altercation when he punched her in eye for no apparent reason just because he was having a bad day and blamed on her. She decided she wanted to leave him. And packed her bags, she said” I told him I no longer want to be with you!” He then proceeded by beating her and holding her hostage for a couple days. This next step shows how last step of power is “force”. Daisy was able to leave and move into her mother’s home. Although, even after she had moved out he kept enforcing his rules. He continued to try to make her stay in the relationship and demanding her to do things for him or with him. I asked her if she felt “force” to do things or staying with him. Daisy replied” Yes, I didn’t want to listen or do anything for him and lastly be with him. I knew he was wrong. But he would threaten me and tell me that he would do something horrible to my family.” She felt stuck in the relationship. He continued to force her to be in the relationship she was no longer happy to be in by using his power.
Finally, Daisy was able to seek help and finally incarcerate the father of her child. Women or Men who are in a mentally and abusive relationship follow Weber theory very well. There’s always someone in power the superior and there’s the inferior who obeys the superior without considering if it’s right or wrong. And once the inferior person no longer wants to obey the superior they are forced to do it. This is how an abusive relationship starts and ends. Stories like Daisy there are many but this just one way to explain an abusive relationship.
I asked Daisy in your relationship who’s the one who held the power? She responded with “he did”. She told me when she first started dating him she was only 13 years old and he was 17 years old. There was an age gap between them. She said “At first I thought him telling me to stop wearing a certain type of clothing was because he didn’t want others (guys) to check me out.” “I didn’t think much of it because I thought that’s what a boyfriend did and said.” Plus he would tell her that he loved her. Also she considered that he was older and wiser not to question his actions. He would tell her it was for her own good and to trust him. Her boyfriend knew he could use his powers for her to obey his rules.
Daisy social life demolished once he didn’t allow her to talk or hang out with friends. At first, he would just yell at her and tell her that she was wrong if she even received a call from a friend. Still Daisy stated she didn’t question his actions. When Daisy agreed to his terms to not having a social life this is when she believed his actions were legit. He always made sure to blame her for why he was mad and screaming at her. He manipulated her to believe she deserved it. A year after dating Daisy became pregnant. She moved in with her boyfriend. While pregnant she was physically and mentally abused by her boyfriend. Sometimes it was because she was on the phone or just because someone looked at her. She stated “I obeyed him once he became physical.” “I would walk with my head down so I would not look at any other man but him.” Daisy started obeying all of her boyfriend’s demands without thinking twice of his rules. Yet, her obeying his rules and automatically responding to his demands showed me exactly who was in demand. Her boyfriend dominated their relationship.
There was an altercation when he punched her in eye for no apparent reason just because he was having a bad day and blamed on her. She decided she wanted to leave him. And packed her bags, she said” I told him I no longer want to be with you!” He then proceeded by beating her and holding her hostage for a couple days. This next step shows how last step of power is “force”. Daisy was able to leave and move into her mother’s home. Although, even after she had moved out he kept enforcing his rules. He continued to try to make her stay in the relationship and demanding her to do things for him or with him. I asked her if she felt “force” to do things or staying with him. Daisy replied” Yes, I didn’t want to listen or do anything for him and lastly be with him. I knew he was wrong. But he would threaten me and tell me that he would do something horrible to my family.” She felt stuck in the relationship. He continued to force her to be in the relationship she was no longer happy to be in by using his power.
Finally, Daisy was able to seek help and finally incarcerate the father of her child. Women or Men who are in a mentally and abusive relationship follow Weber theory very well. There’s always someone in power the superior and there’s the inferior who obeys the superior without considering if it’s right or wrong. And once the inferior person no longer wants to obey the superior they are forced to do it. This is how an abusive relationship starts and ends. Stories like Daisy there are many but this just one way to explain an abusive relationship.