Moreover we can see these elements shine through Erving Goffman’s theory of the presentation of self and impression management. Through these interactions do we see that each individual creates an image of themselves by taking on specific roles, and performing for different audiences. Just as many people interact with each other in order to find a significant other, their “performance” is guided by their impression management. Taking a closer look at romantic relationships, we can suggest that they work together to perform specific roles, and provide meanings to their experiences together through the use of interaction.
Romantic relationships, like many of us know, seem to begin with a glance; your eyes become immediately attracted to this person. A person’s objective then becomes to talk to this person in order to get to know them. Simple, right? Not quite. A person who is attracted to another seeks to put up a “front stage” about their identity so that they can place a good impression. In order to do so, they must first interact face-to-face with each other to obtain information about who they are. We may call this process seeking information because the performance of one person affects the way that the other performs towards them and vice versa. As a result, the people can begin to define their situation, i.e. a relationship.
The attraction that a person has towards another pushes them to put on their “best face” for the sole purpose of portraying a specific image of themselves. As Goffman states, “when an individual appears before others his actions will influence the definition of the situation which they come to have,” which emphasizes the idea that a person enters the space of another in order to change the context of it. More importantly, the actor expresses himself in a way that is interested in extracting a specific response from others (Goffman 6). The person then creates a “front” for a specific audience, and generally knows what they are looking for. The presentation of self is altered for an individual that a person is interested in creating a relationship with; therefore, they enter their space with specific expressions and actions, in order to evoke responses that the actor is looking for. Some of these actions may include attempting to hold their hand, getting close, or prolonged eye contact. Through these actions the person hopes that their “performance” will be accepted. Ultimately, the actor’s objective is to change the status of another person from “single” to “in a relationship.”
Once the definition of the situation has changed, the roles that people take upon themselves within a relationship are very different from when they were not. The image that the couple chooses to portray defines their identity; it distinguishes their front stage from their back stage. The front stage that a couple portrays can be achieved through three key elements: props, personal appearance, and mannerisms. Couples may use material items as “props” to signify their love for one another, such as buying each other a diamond necklace or a watch, which ultimately gives off the impression that they love each other to their audience. Personal appearance supports their front stage because a couple may dress a specific way to imply that they are well-groomed for their significant other. In contrast to their backstage, who they really are, which may be a person in sweats and a t-shirt. However, the idea is to give off the impression that you are put together. As for mannerisms, both verbal and nonverbal, tell the audience what your relationship is like. The relationship’s objective is to perceive their love as natural and fun, hence, why we find couples in “PDA” (public display of affection). Their backstage behavior may differ from this because some couples choose to mask their problems with PDA, so that their audience won’t doubt their love. Overall, these qualities provide the couple with a sense of meaning. The way that they experience their relationship through material possessions, the way they put themselves together, and how they act verbally and nonverbally allows the couple to give their relationship a purpose.
Through the small scale interactions that people encounter, we can suggest that we subconsciously take on specific roles/faces in order to present ourselves in a certain light depending on our given situation or context. More specifically, romantic relationships show a clear example of Goffman’s presentation of self and impression management theory in that relationships change the way that people act when trying to capture the attention of another. In addition, romantic relationships are a way of distinguishing front stage and backstage behavior among individuals. By using a microsociologicallens, we can further understand the dynamics of romantic relationships.
Blumer, Herbert. 1969. “Symbolic Interactionism.” In Calhoun, Craig, Joseph Gerteis, James
Moody, Steven Pfaff, and Indermohan Virk, eds. 2008. Contemporary Sociological Theory, Second Edition. Oxford: Blackwell Publishing.
Goffman, Erving. 1959. The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. New York: Anchor Books.